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Rigters 2:10-23

Verby is die dae dat ons na jongmense verwys as die kerk van môre. Nee, almal in die kerk, jonk en oud, is die kerk van vandag! Tog moet ons begrip hê vir die feit dat daar verskillende generasies in die kerk is. Navorsers praat deesdae van ‘n nuwe Generasie Z in ons midde. Dit is die wat sedert dié vroeë negentigs gebore is en wat anders aanmekaar geweef is as hulle voorgangers, die “Millennials”.

Generasie Z word as “screen-agers” beskryf. TV-skerms, selfoonskerms en rekenaarskerms is hulle kos. Hulle is meer gekonnekteerd as ooit, maar hulle is alleen. Familie is nie noodwendig meer hulle sentrale ruimte vir identiteitsvorming nie. Sosiale media neem hierdie rol al hoe meer uit die familie se hande.

Ons leef in ‘n wêreld waar sosiale media die septer swaai. Hoërskoolgenerasies is die eerstes vir wie se ouers en familie daar nie ou, beproefde opvoedkundige handboeke bestaan oor hoe om hulle groot te maak nie. Alle generasies voor ons het breedweg in dieselfde tipe wêrelde grootgeword. Daar was nog nooit tevore ‘n realiteit wat so volledig deur sosiale media geïnfiltreer en oorgeneem is as ons s’n nie.

Jonger generasies se identiteitsvorming gebeur anders as ooit. Hulle verkies al meer om te sosialiseer met hul vriende op sosialemedie-platvorms eerder as met hulle direkte familie. Hulle glo sosiale media se beloftes blindelings dat hulle nooit alleen sal wees op hierdie digitale platvorms nie. Met die druk van ‘n knoppie kan hulle inskakel by hulle “vriende” op Youtube, Instagram, Snapchat ens. Om blitsvinnige “likes” om kitsaanvaarding te kry. Quickfixes vir ‘n fastfood samelewing.

Indien ons as Christene nie gaan kennis neem van die wêreld waarin ons leef nie, is die verlore generasie dalk weer ons voorland. Ek sê weer, want ‘n verlore jonger generasie het ontstaan in die tyd tussen Josua 24 en Rigters 2. Terwyl die ouer leiers van Israel in Josua 24 belowe het dat hulle die Here sal dien, vertel Rigters 2:10 dat die volgende generasie totaal en al sonder God grootgeword het. Hulle het niks geweet van Sy groot dade om Israel te red nie. Om te dink, in een geslag het Israel vanaf godsdienstig tot Goddeloosheid verval. Dit het onder andere gebeur omdat die oues kontak verloor het met die jonges en nie meer in hulle taal met hulle oor God gepraat het nie.

Wanneer laas het jy met iemand oor hoe die Here in jou lewe werk gepraat? Wanneer laas het jy saam met iemand, behalwe in die kerk, Bybel gelees? Wanneer laas het jy vanuit ‘n Christelike perspektief armoede aangespreek? Wanneer laas het julle saam gedink oor die Here se wil in verhouding met die rigting van jou lewe?

Kom ons lees saam Rigters 2:10-23

Hierdie gedeelte uit Rigters 2 vertel vir ons van ‘n gemeenskap wat nie meer die Here geken het nie, en Hom ook nie geëer het in hulle optrede nie. Hulle het so ver gegaan om ander gode te aanbid. Die patroon word duidelik uitgelig in Rigters, dit herhaal oor en oor en spiraal al meer na onder.

Die volk is ontrou aan die Here.
Die Here stuur ‘n vyand om hulle te verdruk.
Die volk het berou en smeek die Here om hulp.
Die Here rig iemand as leier op om hulle te verlos.
Die volk beleef ‘n tyd van rus en vrede solank as wat die rigter/leier leef en hulle lei.

Wat duidelik na vore kom is dat God onverdeelde trou van sy volk vereis en hulle sal straf as hulle aan Hom ontrou is. Daar sal gevolge wees vir verkeerde dade. Daarteenoor gee God voorspoed en vrede as die volk gehoorsaam is en Hom alleen dien.

‘n Verdere tema wat hier na vore kom is die van gehoorsame leiers en uiteindelik ‘n koning wat God dien. God gee mense wat as leiers kan optree en sy volk kan bevry. In sommige verhale breek morele chaos uit as gevolg van die gebrek aan getroue leiers. Ook opvallend is die diversiteit van leiers: Die Here gebruik nie net mense met hoë sosiale status nie, maar ook vroue, ‘n bangjan, ‘n huursoldaat en die seun van ‘n prostituut. Die Here wil almal gebruik om vir Hom op te staan, om leiding in Sy naam te neem.

In Rigters is daar ‘n negatiewe beeld van die mens. Die boek beklemtoon die inherente neiging van die mens om ontrou aan die Here te wees. Die afgode van die land het eenvoudig net ‘n te sterk trekkrag gehad om te weerstaan.

Watter afgode se trekkrag kan jy nie weerstaan nie? Watter dinge neem tyd uit jou dag wat jy graag aan die Here sou wou spandeer? Youtube? Instagram? Supersport? Sepies? En bring hierdie dinge jou nader aan God of vertel dit eerder van die wêreldse ideale wat nagevolg moet word bo Goddelike waardes?

Om die onsigbare God van Israel te aanbid, was vir die volk net te moeilik in die nuwe land. In die oorgang van die woestynbestaan as nomades na ‘n landboubestaan kon Israel dit nie regkry om aan God alleen getrou te wees nie.

Ons is vandag ook in so ‘n oorgangstydperk. Nooit tevore was ons blootgestel aan soveel kennis so vinnig nie. Elkeen van ons loop met die wêreld se kennis in ons broek en handsakke. Maar, met al die kennis beteken dit nie dat ons die wysheid het om daardie kennis reg te gebruik nie. Wysheid kom van God af, en sonder wysheid doen elkeen van ons net soos die Israeliete in Rigters: “Ons doen elkeen wat reg is in ons eie oë.”

Wanneer ons elkeen doen wat reg is in ons eie oë gebeur dit dat ons nie meer verantwoordbaar/accountable voor God is nie. God wat die wysheid bied oor hoe om dit te gebruik wat aan ons gegee is vir die beter van die hele gemeenskap.

Wanneer ons doen wat reg is in ons eie oë sê ons: “You do you, let me do me.”

Om dit te sê is totaal en al onbybels! Die Bybel praat van ons as die liggaam of ‘n familie, ons kan nie sonder God en sonder mekaar nie, of eerder sonder God en sonder mekaar gaan ons lewe alleen wees vol leë beloftes van pragtige filters.

Daarom in ‘n oorgangstydperk met ongekende uitdagings is verantwoordelike leierskap nodig. Leiers wat hulle meet aan God se standaarde, nie hul eie nie. Leiers wat hulle gesinne en vriende kan vertel van die wonderlike werke van God sodat dit nie verlore en vergete raak nie!

As ons nie in hierdie siklus van ontrou, straf, berou en redding wil vassit nie het ons geestelike leierskap nodig wat ons daaruit sal ruk, sodat ons kan wakker skrik en agterkom waarmee ons besig is.

Hoe keer ons ‘n herhaling van Rigters 2 hier in ons jonger-wordende wêreld? Sensus 2011 het bevind dat 29,2% van Suid-Afrika se bevolking jonger is as 14 jaar. Slegs 5,3% is ouer as 65, terwyl 49,2% Suid-Afrikaners jonger is as 24. Hoe leef ons hierdie jonger generasies reg raak?

Wel, die Bybelse roete van die liefde is steeds die heel belangrikste roete. God se liefde is tydloos. Dit is nooit generasie gebonde nie. Geen generasie is liefdebestand nie. 1 Petrus 2:15-18 verduidelik met name vir ons dat so ‘n roete gaan oor respek vir alle mense en oor diep eerbied vir God. Geestelike leierskap wys liefde vir almal, en daar is wysheid in liefde.

Die liefde is geduldig, vriendelik, nie grootpraterig nie, handel nie onwelvoeglik nie, soek nie eie belang nie, is nie liggeraak nie, en hou nie boek van die kwaad nie.

Die sosiale media is haastig, vyandig, grootpraterig, onwelvoeglik, soek eie belang, liggeraak, en hou boek van die kwaad.

So wie sal jy eerder met jou lewe vertrou? Die liefde of sosiale media?

In dieselfde asem moet ons weet dat nuwe generasies nie na nog kennis soek nie. Hulle het oorgenoeg daarvan. Wat hulle kortkom, is Bybelse wysheid. Hulle weet nie hoe om hierdie nuwe wêreld met al die information-overload en derduisende impulse wat daagliks op hulle afstorm te verstaan en te hanteer nie. Hulle kort ouers en mentors wat Bybelse wysheid met hulle kan deel.

Ons moet saam met die jonger generasie leef en vir hulle wys dat eerbied vir die Here en respek vir ander mense steeds die roete tot ware lewe is. Ons moet vir jonger mense helder en duidelike redes gee om in Christus te glo. Ons moet gesonde verhoudings modelleer en saam met hulle groei. Ook moet ons gesonde geloofsritmes aankweek wat ons gedurig saam met hulle in ons huise en in ons geloofsfamilies beoefen.

Die Bybel dink nie in terme van ouderdom wanneer die uitleef van ons geloof ter sprake is nie. Daar bestaan nie Bybelse kategorieë soos “afgetrede Christene” of “tiener Christene” in die Bybel nie. Ons is nooit te jonk of te oud om vir die Here te leef nie. Ouderdom is nooit ‘n voorwaarde vir diens aan God nie. Abraham is byvoorbeeld eers op 75-jarige ouderdom geroep om ‘n nuwe roete vir God in te slaan. Jeremia kon nie wegkruip agter sy jeugdigheid toe hy as profeet geroep is nie.

Ons almal, jonk en oud, het een gesamentlike roeping, om elke dag vir Jesus te volg in alles wat ons doen. Die Heilige Gees is ewe veel aanwesig in ons almal. Ouer en jonger gelowiges dien dieselfde lewende God.

Daarom, laat ons nie die wysheid van die liefde in God en in mekaar vergeet nie. Laat ons, jonk en oud Bybelse leierskap openbaar deur ons vertroue in God wat liefde is te plaas eerder as in die beloftes van die sosiale media.

Mag ons nie doen wat ons dink reg is in ons eie oë nie, maar altyd mekaar en ons eie optrede meet aan Goddelike standaarde, want daarin is die lewe in oorvloed. Mag ons mekaar en ons kinders vertel van die Here se wysheid, sodat ons as gemeenskap, nader al nader aan God wat liefde is, kan groei.

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Tech Wise Family: 7&8. The Deep End of the (Car) Pool & Naked and Unashamed

7. The Deep End of the (Car) Pool

CAR TIME IS CONVERSATION TIME.

 

8. Naked and Unashamed

SPOUSES HAVE ONE ANOTHER’S PASSWORDS, AND PARENTS HAVE TOTAL ACCESS TO CHILDREN’S DEVICES.

For countless generations, sex was hardly ever easy, and it certainly was not everywhere. It was not easy, above all, because it was intimately connected to the begetting of children, and the arrival of a child is one of the most gloriously complicated events that can befall a human being. As far as possible from being everywhere, sex was meant to be confined to a single lifelong marital relationship, where –as almost any married couple can tell you- sex can be fulfilling and rewarding, but it is by no means always easy.

The easy-everywhereness of sex is dramatically increased by easy-everywhere access to alcohol, cannabis, or other drugs.

The norm, now, is for sex to be everywhere, available to everyone at every stage of life and in every configuration of desire, and to be easy –that is, unencumbered by consequences hang-ups, or commitments.

With sex dissociated so completely from the family, it is perhaps not surprising that family itself, so totally the opposite of easy-everywhere life, is being reconfigured.

Growing up without one’s biological father, specifically, is related to everything from early onset puberty, to early initiation of sexual activity, to vulnerability to sexual advances from nonbiologically related household members like stepfathers and half siblings.

 

The New Normal

Evidence is piling up that the earlier and the more you use porn, the less you are capable of real intimacy with real partners. There is no lasting sexual performance, let alone satisfaction, without the development of wisdom and courage.

All addictions feed on, and are strengthened by, emptiness.

So the best defense against porn, for every member of our family, is a full life. This is why the most important things we will do to prevent porn from taking over our lives and our children’s lives have nothing to do with sex.

A home where wisdom and courage come first; where our central spaces are full of satisfying, demanding opportunities for creativity; where we have regular breaks from technology and opportunities for deep rest and refreshment (where devices “sleep” somewhere other than our bedrooms and where both adults and children experience the satisfaction of learning in thick, embodied ways rather than thin, technological ways); where we’ve learned to manage boredom and where even our car trips are occasions for deep and meaningful conversation -this is the kind of home that can equip all of us with an immune system strong enough to resist pornography’s foolishness.

 

The Naked Truth

All sin begins with separation -hiding from our fellow human beings and our Creator, even if, at first, we simply hide in the “privacy” of our own thoughts, fears, and fantasies.

Martin Luther said, we can’t stop birds from flying over our head, but we can stop them from building a nest in our hair.

People who plunge into addiction can emerge from that shallow madness, retrain and rewire their brains, and rediscover real intimacy.

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Tech Wise Family: 5&6. Learning and Working & The Good News about Boredom

5. Learning and Working

WE AIM FOR “NO SCREENS BEFORE DOUBLE DIGITS” AT SCHOOL AND AT HOME

The best and richest experiences of learning, it turns out, are embodied ones. Physically taking notes with a pen or pencil on paper –the act of forming physical letters by hand, with the twists and turns of the letter forms and the accumulating fatigue and need for rest- turns out to aid memorization and learning, even if we never consult the notes again.

All human thought requires embodiment, and without bodies we could not think. We can have a faint idea or hunch in our mind, but it is only when we speak or write it that it becomes clear, not just to others but to ourselves as well.

 

Dangerously Easy

The last thing you need when you are learning, at any age but especially in childhood, is to have things made too easy. Difficulty and resistance, as long as they are age appropriate and not too discouraging, are actually what press our brains and bodies to adapt and learn. We are designed to thrive on complex, embodied tasks that require the engagement of many senses at once.

The biggest problem with most screen-based activities is that they ask too little of us and make the world too simple. When our children could be making candy, they are playing Candy Crush.

 

Difficult and Rewarding

We most often give our children screens not to make their lives easier but to make our lives easier.

The truth is that our children, just like us, will spend far too much of their lives tethered to glowing rectangles. We owe them, at the very minimum, early years of real, embodied, difficult, rewarding learning, the kind that screens cannot provide. And that is why a family that cares about developing wisdom and courage will exert every effort to avoid the thin simplicity of screens in the first years of life.

What applies to children can apply to us adults as well. Our screen based work will be far more productive if we balance it with plunges back into the complex, three-dimensional physical world that reawakens both our brains and our minds, both our bodies and our souls.

 

6. The Good News about Boredom

WE USE SCREENS FOR A PURPOSE, AND WE USE THEM TOGETHER, RATHER THAN USING THEM AIMLESSLY ALONE.

In the history of the human race, boredom is practically brand new –less than three hundred years old. The English word does not appear until the 1850’s. Boredom –for children and for adults- is a perfectly modern condition. I’ve come to the conclusion that the more you entertain children, the more bored they will get.

The problem, as with many short-term solutions, is that solving the immediate problem requires leaving a bigger problem unsolved –and actually makes the bigger problem worse.

 

How Videos Bewitch

The entertainment we serve up to our children, and ourselves, constantly fills the screen with movement as swift as the meteor’s and colors as brilliant as the cardinal’s. It is purposefully edited to never require too much concentration or contemplation; instead, it grabs our attention and constantly stimulates our desire and delight in novelty. But in doing so, it gradually desensitizes us as well.

A world in which The Sopranos can seem innocent is a world ratcheting its way toward being unable to be shocked by anything –which is to say, a world completely full of boredom.

The very analog world is itself charged with beauty and surprise.

And the ones who used to be able to see this ordinary abundance in all its glory, in all its full capacity to delight and transfix our attention, were children. Children were the ones who simply went out to play in the ordinary world, even with no toys at all, because they had something far better than toys: grass and dirt, worms and beetles, trees and fields. The world they played in was rich, substantial, and rewarding of attention: the closer you looked, the more you saw; the more you listened, the more you heard.

Technology does little do develop our abilities to wait, pay attention, contemplate, and explore –all needed to discover the abundance of the ordinary.

The first people people to be bored were the people who did not do manual work, who did not cook their own food, whose lives were served by others. They were also, by the way, the very first people to have lawns.

 

Distraction and Delight

Boredom is actually a crucial warning sign –as important in its own way as physical pain. It’s a sign that our capacity for wonder and delight, contemplation and attention, real play and fruitful work, has been dangerously depleted.

We are not bored, exactly, just as someone eating potato chips is not hungry, exactly. But overconsumption of distraction is just as unsatisfying, and ultimately sickening, as overconsumption of junk food.

They have left me, as the ring left Bilbo, feeling “all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.”

 

Screens on Purpose

The problem isn’t with our devices themselves –it’s with the way we use them. We simply have to turn off the easy fixes and make media something we use on purpose and rarely rather than aimlessly and frequently.

So when we do sit down in front of a TV screen, it will be for a specific purpose and with a specific hope, not just of entertainment or distraction but of wonder and exploration.

The good news is that the more often we resist the easy solution, the easier the solution will be to find –because our children (and we ourselves) will start to develop capacities to explore and discover that will make them less prone to be bored in the first place.

When we do put on a video or otherwise fire up a screen for a purpose, we’ll follow another principle: never entertain your children with anything you find unsatisfying, just like you shouldn’t feed your children anything you don’t enjoy eating yourself.