Your Teen on a Screen

On Wednesday evening I attended a Heart2Heart talk at the Epworth School in Pietermaritzburg on online/digital health for teens and also on how parents can best manage theire childrens online presence.

Trish Fiendero facilitated the evening and gave a few pointers on the subject. I myself do not yet have kids of age that needs to be guided with regards to this, but am very interested in the subject of technology.

Technology, especially online media can be good if you are in control of the media, but if the media starts to control your behaviour the red lights should start to come on for you and your family.

Here is a few pointers from Trish. If you want to read more on the subject from a Christian perspective I would highly recommend Andy Crouch’s book “The Tech Wise Family” for families and “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport for an ever online working adult.

  • Limit unfocused time on screen
  • Not to be used as reward of punishment.
    • the risk is that your teen will be afraid to talk about their online presence when it is linked to reward and punishment.
  • Employ different layers of protection:
    • Physical: Screen free zones, and also screenzones
    • Screen free times:
    • Router level: PiHole / Adguard Home / VPN
    • Device level: Time limits and parental controls
      • Parental control Apps:
        • Bark
        • Custodio
        • Kaspersky Kidz
        • Life360
  • Let your teen have safe people (go to people other than parents)
    • If you do not want to talk to your mom or dad, who do you want to talk too?
    • 3 people
    • Update list 2x per year
  • On social media and onine gaming
    • Beware of:
      • Sexual predators
      • Disappearing messages/pictures
      • Addiction
      • Pornography

Online Health:

  • Create moment to live in real life. Let them experience a real life relationship.
  • Good question to let them ask themselves: “Would you do/say that if you were chatting in real life in a coffeeshop?”
  • Set appropiate bedtimes.
  • Balance.

The Question That Converts Change Resistors

Have you ever designed or created something and then presented it to someone (client or team) for approval or use – only for them to flat out reject it? (Queue sad music…)

This could be the innovative design for a long-standing product that your customers respond poorly to or even a well thought out project pitch to the rest of the business that falls flat.

There’s a key reason why this happens.
Understanding this is the difference between smoothly converting change resistant team members or clients and having door after door slammed in our faces (which we frankly don’t enjoy).

Here’s the reason.

The highly contested book, ‘The Selfish Gene’ by Richard Dawkins raises many eyebrows (including mine), but one thing the book has going for it is this…

The idea that human beings are wired to serve and protect themselves at the genetic and physiological level.

Many of us are well aware of that.
Without this sense and need to ‘self-preserve’ – we wouldn’t exercise our reflexes to get out of the way of a moving car or release adrenalin at the sound of a roaring lion.

This is also true of our response to change, transformation and even the question ‘should we have meatball pizza or vegetable lasagne for dinner tonight?’

Because there’s a key question we all ask ourselves when we:

  • Hear about our team’s brand new reporting system
  • Discover a job opening we’ve been hoping for
  • Consume a piece of content on social media

‘What’s In It For Me’?

If we could design strategy, content, products and services with the sole understanding that each and every person who receives it is asking:

‘What’s In It For Me’?

We would:

  1. Use relatable stories – tell stories where your recipient feels like the main character.
  2. Use the word ‘you’ and ‘we/us’ more and ‘me’ a little less – truth is that your client/team don’t care as much about ‘you’ as you might think.
  3. Ask – you’re great at your job, but you’re not a mind reader. Ask your change recipient ‘how’ they wish to be lead or served and then leverage those insights to drive change.

Keeping this principle in mind and using it both in the workplace and your personal settings is key to ongoing success as members of an ever-shifting workforce.

So your challenge for the coming week?
Every time you try to convince someone of something, stop and ask how you can make it crystal clear what’s in it for them.

Dawkins, R. (2006). The Selfish Gene. Oxford University Press.

Got some #UnLearning to do?

Known to her awesome clients as ‘The UnLearning Lady’, Zanele Njapha, author of today’s Tuesday Tip, is the world’s leading voice on using key unlearning principles to help teams let go of outdated ways of working & transition successfully into exciting new ways of seeing, doing & being!

Zanele can support your team through her ‘ReImagine: UnLearn & ReLearn’ keynote that can also be delivered as an interactive workshop’.

by | Apr 26, 2022

Identiteit en Versoeningswerk (Anti-Rassisme en Geregtigheid)

Hierdie volgende inskrywing is die opsommende totaal van drie dae se gedagtes rondom anti-rassisme en geregtigheid in Johannesburg by die eMseni Retreat Sentrum.

“Mense is moeg om oor versoening te praat en dit nie te voel/ervaar nie.”

“Ons doen nie onsekerheid goed nie…”

Wanneer fasiliteringswerk met gemeentes gedoen word in brugtydperke kan ‘n storiemuur gebruik word wat die konteks van die gemeenskap identifiseer, die gemeente se geskiedenis in die gemeenskap en elke deelnemer se persoonlike ervarings. Dit word gegrond in ‘n anker teks deur saam te wandel in die Woord.


  1. Wie is jy en wat celebrate jy tans?
  2. Is there anything that you might be sitting with that in sharing with us will allow you to be fully present?
  3. Wat beteken versoening vir my en hoekom maak dit saak?

“Daar is betekenis agter elke keuse.”

Goeie vra om uit te vind wat staan in die pad van innovasie/transformasie/…

  1. What about what we are trying to do here feels like the biggest blockage?
  2. What are some of the limiting assumptions that you carry about this?
  3. Which assumption is most limiting?
  4. Do you think this assumption is inherently true and why?
  5. If untrue: What are your words for what is true and liberating instead? If true: What can you credibly assume instead?
  6. If the world knew (insert true, liberating alternative), what would change for you?
  7. If you and the world knew (insert true, liberating alternative), what would change for the world?

Na hierdie oefening het ons kenmerkende eienskappe van ‘n wit man neergepen, asook die van ‘n swart man en dit met mekaar vergeleik om te sien hoe die perspektiewe teenoor beide mans verskil.

“Onthou, daar is mense wat verandering/versoening/innovasie/transforasie wil sien, onthou hulle. Moet nie vaskyk in die wat dinge wil hou soos dit is nie, of selfs ‘n paar tree terug wil gee nie.”

Power Flower: Die Power Flower bestaan uit vele dimensies wat gebruik word om mag uit te beeld. Gaan kyk ook gerus na die werk van WE RISE oor die Power Flower.













Om verder te gaan om voorreg uit te beeld het ons die volgende vrae aan onsself gevra:

  1. Waar het jy groot geword?
  2. Met watter speelgoed het jy gespeel?
  3. Watter kos het jy geeet?
  4. Waar het jy gaan vakansie hou?
  5. Wat het jou ouers vir werk gedoen?
  6. Tot watter mate het jy toegang tot tegnologie en lees materiaal gehad?
  7. Na watter tipe skool het jy gegaan?
  8. Watter taal het jou familie gepraat?
  9. Het jy met beide ouers grootgeword?
  10. Watter beelde van jouself het jy in die media gesien?
  11. Is jy ooit neerhalende name genoem op grond van een van die dimensies van jou identiteit?
  12. Het jy meestal veilig gevoel?

En om jou eie bias of vooroordeel raak te sien die volgende gevra:

  1. Wanneer het jy vir die eerste keer bewus geraak van jou ras identiteit?
  2. Wat dink jy sien mense soos jy nie raak nie wat mense kan seermaak?
  3. As gevolg van jou ras het jy al bias ervaar, persoonlik of professioneel, wat jou bevoordeel of benadeel?
  4. Nou at jy dit weet wat kan jy moontlik anders doen?

Wat het jou laat verander? – Blootstelling!

Wat het ek nodig om die werk te doen?